2010 Has probably been one of the most remarkable years of my life. Not just because of how much good happened, but how much CHANGE happened. I remember like it was yesterday how awkward the year started. So many new things in the air.
I love my best friend, Leilani. I have known her for about 9 years, and as cliche as it may sound, she really is like a sister to me. But it's true! Through the years, we've encountered our very strong differences and have come head to head with these issues, but despite how red our faces may turn... in the end, I miss her, I love her, and I do not like being mad at her! Not only for her, but her wonderful family as well, who have taken me in as though I'm her sister anyway. They have loved me, cared for me, supported me, guided me, through all the times that I have needed it the most. I can't really express how thankful I am for them and for all they have done for me, and I could literally give them the world back and it wouldn't be enough.
Through the beginning of the year, this wonderful family that I loved so much went through something very terrible. Losing a loved one at such a young age, so fast, so unexpected, and so unprepared for is probably one of the worst things that I didn't expect to experience, and if I could have been a hero in that moment I would have done everything I could to bring back Chasity Russell, and to revive her from the horrible cancer that was slowly killing her. This little lady was so beautiful and special... and SO special to my family. It was heart breaking to attend her funeral and to see how badly her passing affected everyone around her. And through it all, she left a beautiful baby boy who brought her the happiness of motherhood that she had always hoped for. I only met her once, but through that one time, I could remember her to a T. Her personality, smile, and friendliness was so unique. She is greatly missed by everyone who loved her. As I write this, it is two days until the anniversary of her passing. It will be a hard day, but it is worth the recognition for remembrance and love.
As the year went on, many new and exciting things happened for my business. I could say that in the beginning of 2010, my photography was well... ok. I started out doing photographs for people the previous fall of 2009 and in the start of 2010 I was really starting to take it seriously. It wasn't until May when I attended a internship with Sarah Barlow in Nashville that my vision of the business really brightened and everything just blossomed from there. Not only did I learn so much about handling a successful business, but Sarah's charisma and positive attitude towards everything just sort of... became contagious! I can't really describe it, but it just motivated me to be bright and positive about every aspect of what I was doing, and it hence motivated me to do MORE for myself and my photography. Since then, I have successfully built up this blog, scheduled countless sessions, have many weddings coming up, and I am enjoying every minute of it. I hope that 2011 really sort of pounds me into the ground with this one, and everything is set into place. I am still learning the whole "business" aspects of it, but I am very happy to say that learning it all on my own (BUT with a bunch of help of fellow photographers), I feel like the lessons are soo much more valuable to me and I am taking everything so much more seriously. Through all of this, I couldn't thank Sarah and her brother enough for their help, guidance, and motivation. I'd also like to point out my graciousness for the help from Denver Post's photographer, Craig Walker (Winner of the Pulitzer Prize this year for his photography!!), who inspired me to do exactly what it is that I wanted, and not to just do something that I THOUGHT was right. And for my grandparents, who put up with me for a good six weeks as we toured through the middle of the country for my internship, and for allowing me the space and time outside of Pueblo for my new and exciting self discovery!!
Faith, Myself, and Sarah Barlow, during the last day in Nashville:
Myself and Pulitzer Prize winner and Photographer for the Denver Post, Craig Walker:
Talk about self discovery, this year also brought me a lot of changes in my very personal life. This year allowed me to open my eyes to see who was true, who wasn't, and what was right for me, and what was not. Sometimes when you are afraid so much of the truth, you really don't want to believe it. But what I learned this year, that even if it hurts, it is the most liberating feeling in the world to finally free yourself from whatever weight you hold on your shoulders. After all, WE aren't the ones in control of our lives. We can't help what has happened to us, but if we take each "bad" thing and learn the valuable lesson that is to be learned from it, nothing but good will come out of the bad. I am so thankful for the bad things I went through his year, because not only did I learn my lesson, but I value the good SO MUCH MORE!
I am so thankful for the one that I love, who has become my best friend, and the one person who has brought so much happiness and good into my life. Because of Jared, my year ended in a way I didn't even expect, or even feel that I deserved, and I am so thankful for him and all that he has done to enrich my life! He is such a wonderful and amazing person!!
As 2010 came to an end, life continued to change. Tammy, her husband, and her kids, who I love with all my heart and really do consider to be some of the most wonderful, smart, and loving kids that I know, moved all the way across the country to Maryland. After waking up to see these happy children at least 2-3 times a week, playing with them, watching them grow, it is so weird to know that they are no longer here in Colorado. I loved them so much and I miss them dearly! I am so thankful though, to have had them in my life. I am so Thankful for Tammy, and her very strong guidance and concern for me. I could easily say that Tammy had a huge impact on a big hunk of my self realization during all this "change" this year. I thank her. I really really do. It was so nice to spend a holiday season with her and her family one last time.
Jalen, Lily and Darby, who I love and miss SO MUCH!:
Now that 2011 is beginning, I can already see so many new beginnings. I will be moving in with a friend here in a few weeks. Not only am I excited, but I feel that it's very necessary for myself to truly learn how to handle my own finances, and to handle my own life. Or, at least, it's a big step! There are so many reasons that point to the good in my decision of doing this. Not only will I be closer to where I spend my entire days anyway, but I will certainly learn those lessons, I will save money on gas, and I will find so many new opportunities by actually living in town rather than the outskirts of town. I can't wait to see what's to come with this!
On top of that, I am still working on my website. In anticipation of growing business, I decided to only attend classes half time this spring semester so that I could balance with both "careers". I don't know what to expect beyond that, but I really hope to up my business, to balance my workflow perfectly, and to learn how to handle so many more situations all at once. I am still learning how to handle my time!! Working this business is a lot harder than I anticipated. It is so worth it though. And even though I'm going to school for Biology, I am really truly hoping that photographing is what I do for the rest of my life. It's the only thing I love doing and don't actually consider as work. That's what people tell me should be my career... so if this is it, I need to focus on it!! I can't wait to officially launch the website, and learn all that is to be learned this year. I can't wait for the future I have with Jared, my best friends, my family. I hope to see my mom more this year, and to grow our relationship stronger. I hope to attend church more and to be more involved. I hope to do the things that I don't know yet I will be doing!!!
New years just bring a time of bittersweet joy! Reminiscence of the past, and excitement for what is to come. I love it!
Happy Holidays and Happy New Year everybody!!!
